God's Faithfulness: A Reflection on Past Experiences

In the years spanning 2022 to 2023, I was caught in the hustle and bustle of life, preparing and aiming for something but always facing rejections. Despite my efforts, seeing others' successes—though I was happy for them—made me feel left out and led to self-pity. Out of frustration, I enrolled in another course while still pursuing another for a potential career change. This truly broke me down; it felt like self-sabotage!

I worked full-time Monday to Friday and took two courses simultaneously—one every night and the other on weekends—not to mention the numerous school requirements and household responsibilities. These commitments overwhelmed me and left me utterly exhausted. It even affected my spiritual life, as I struggled to attend gatherings due to my packed schedule. Months later, I woke up to the realization that I had lost track of what is important; I felt lost.

“Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher; “All is vanity!” (Ecc. 1:2ff) This realization struck me deeply. I wasn't crying over work frustrations and all that anymore, but because I realized my priorities had shifted. I had lost sight of what truly mattered.

The Word of God came to my mind again: “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36). Following this realization, I turned to God in prayer, asking for forgiveness and seeking restoration each day.

Shame arose within me, and a thought came to mind: “Jenna, 'you’ve been bought with a price! Christ has set you free! Therefore, do not submit yourself again to the yoke of slavery'.” (1 Cor. 6:20, Gal. 5:1)

Tears streamed down my face again, but this time, an overwhelming joy filled my heart as I realized God's goodness and love toward me. God could have left me wandering completely, chasing after that something, and He owes me nothing. Yet, in His mercy, He rescued me and poured out His loving-kindness on someone as undeserving as I am. Indeed, great is the Lord, and He is worthy of all praise!

As I write this and reflect on those experiences, I feel incredibly grateful for the lessons learned during that time. Surprisingly, when I stopped expecting and simply learned to be content, what I was aiming for came. Just wow!

With all the weariness that those experiences bring, the only time it will end is when we learn to be content. Contentment. Yes, contentment! By embracing it, I am placing my full trust and confidence in the Lord, knowing that He will provide everything I need. The Lord is my greatest Provider and the Giver of all good things.

The Lord says, “Seek my face!” and by grace, I aim to respond, “Your face, Lord, I will seek. Help me!” (Psalm 27:7-14) “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

As the old hymn says: “Morning by morning new mercies I see; all I have needed Thy hand hath provided: Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord, unto me!” Amen. Great is Your faithfulness, O Lord. Great is Your faithfulness.

I felt so restless and burdened, yet the Lord said, “Come!” God is calling me—and us, His people—to come to Him! Rest is being offered to us! Why did I feel lost again? During those times, I was being stubborn and prideful, failing to recognize His sovereignty over the matter and refusing to come to Him right away. I had forgotten the truth that in Christ, I have rest! Jesus died for my sins—for our sins—to reconcile us to God. Rest is given at the cross of Calvary. Therefore, come!

But dear friends, a reminder to myself as well: the invitation doesn’t stop at coming to Him. He says in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

He said, “Take My yoke upon you!” Resting in the Lord doesn’t mean inactivity or feeling comforted all the time. We must share in the life of Christ; we have a cross to carry! Sure, there are burdens in this life, but with Jesus, they become light!

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is the importance of being discerning in how to respond to any situation. We must love and live the gospel at all times. In all things, at all times, may God be glorified! May God help me as I face another year.

Praise be to God! Praise Him forever! May I praise Him forevermore!

The events of this season in my life have reminded me once again: “All things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Photo by Ruth Simons via gracelaced.com

Soli Deo Gloria.

Purify my heart

Purify my heart,

That I may be clean,
Free from deceit and sin,
Unmoved by worldly schemes.

Purify my heart,
That I may not stray,
Unite it to fear Your name,
And make it follow Your ways.

Purify my heart,
That I may see Your face,
Cause it to love You wholly,
That I may share Your love and grace.

Purify my heart,
Like gold refined, steady and true;
Fully committed to Your will,
Firmly trusting in You.

Hiding Place

As I read Psalm 63 this morning, I find myself in solitude, reflecting on God's goodness and the comfort that comes from Him. This led me to write this poem, inspired by His strength and refuge, and the solace found in His unwavering love.

O God, You are my God,
In Your ways, I humbly trod.
By grace, I seek Your face;
My weary soul finds hiding place.

When shadows fall and sorrow weeps,
Your grace abounds; my spirit leaps.
When darkness creeps and brings me fear,
I trust in You; Your presence near.

I call Your name in prayer,
My life is safe within Your care.
In this dry and weary land,
Your steadfast love helps me stand.

My lips shall ever sing Your praise;
In Your faithfulness, I do rejoice.
In Your sanctuary, I gaze upon You;
My soul is at rest; Your promises true.

Having written this, I was reminded of the song "O God, You Are My God," which I often listen to. Its message resonates with my poem. Here it is:

Spiritual Vigilance

I remember riding in an ambulance sometime in 2021 to accompany a patient. Though it wasn’t my first time, that day was different: I forgot to wear a seatbelt. A bus was speeding toward us from the left at an intersection. Thankfully, we weren’t hit, but I was thrown from my seat, leaving my knees bruised and in pain.

I forgot such an important thing that day. What if something worse had actually happened? I would have become a patient as well.

We tend to forget important things when everything is going well in our lives. Much more so, the same applies to the Christian life. When everything is going well, we tend to neglect to be vigilant against spiritual complacency. We sometimes relax, thinking that being saved is enough, and tend to neglect other aspects—willfully or not.

Christianity is actually a warfare—not against one another, but against Satan, who loves deceiving people. In our ladies' fellowship yesterday, I was reminded of the importance of every means of grace: corporate worship, reading the Word, the Lord’s Supper, gathering/fellowship, prayer, and so on.

Scripture reminds every believer to be sober-minded, vigilant, and alert at all times because the devil is always waiting for an opportunity to attack and deceive (1 Peter 5:8).

I must admit that I am guilty of not being able to attend every fellowship due to conflicts with my master’s studies. Even missing corporate worship at times makes me feel ashamed as I write this now. Nevertheless, I am grateful to be reminded of these things, and hopefully, by God’s grace, busyness and time conflicts will no longer be an excuse.

Even so, the truth remains. The Word of the Lord should be the lifeblood of every believer (John 6:63). It is not right for someone to be a Christian and willfully neglect church—for it is deliberate disobedience of God’s command not to forsake gathering (Hebrews 10:25). We are also called to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) and much more.

Just as forgetting to wear a seatbelt can lead to major and hard consequences, neglecting spiritual disciplines can lead to vulnerabilities in our faith. Through our commitment to these disciplines, the life of Christ will manifest in the lives of His people for His glory.

Soli Deo Gloria